Why do you still come here so often? I can feel your electronic fingertips hovering here, pausing. Every hour or so, even in the early hours of the morning, you are tempted back to linger. Don’t live your life like this. It was Walter Benjamin that so eloquently described Klee’s ‘Angelus Novus’ as a figure staring fixated upon the piling debris of the past, as it was propelled forward by progress. Push on, turn around and look forwards, to new things and to new people. Let me rest here and build. Wish me well, ask after me. But don’t linger too much on this gentle warrior. I have made my choice, please respect it.
Why do you still come here so often? I can feel your electronic fingertips hovering here, pausing. Every hour or so, even in the early hours of the morning, you are tempted back to linger. Don’t live your life like this. It was Walter Benjamin that so eloquently described Klee’s ‘Angelus Novus’ as a figure staring fixated upon the piling debris of the past, as it was propelled forward by progress. Push on, turn around and look forwards, to new things and to new people. Let me rest here and build. Wish me well, ask after me. But don’t linger too much on this gentle warrior. I have made my choice, please respect it.
I’ve been thinking about expectations today. When someone wants and desires to see something in you, but your actions or development just doesn’t meet that expectation. It’s a personal pain for me. In my final couple of weeks with H, she referred to me not being the person she’d expected me to be. That was difficult to hear. It partly emerges because we didn’t know each other well enough, and partly because I was still maturing in my own faith. I find it difficult to come to terms with. Of all the things to say to someone, that’s one that hurts. Speaking about such things must really be done in love, proactively and provocative as a friend of mine put it today. It’s also difficult because I know how much forgiveness is meant to be at the heart of relationships. I’m not trying to pull a holy blame card here - in this particular instance, it certainly was something we both didn’t practice. Instead, we should be striving to forgive and facilitate rather than actualize and condemn. There’s nothing more powerful than see someone invest and honour someone who considers themselves to be of little relative worth.
Why is it that I refer to all of the important women in my life by their initials?
Today I started writing you a love letter. It’ll be a long one, that I look forward to giving you someday as a gift. It begins, “Dear EH.”
(Source: iamadamstanley)
Loved spending more time with her last night. The theme of the evening was white. She makes me laugh, and she so easy going. I have decided. And I would have told her too, if I hadn’t have been in absolute agony with my back. Ow!
(Source: latelma)
Very heavy sense of the war this evening - and a great burden to have to do this alone. To pray for broken chains and generational lines of sin and freedom. So thankful for the blood of Jesus and the peace that prevails and the memory of light grenades, having felt this once before. Sustained, calmed, unreserved trust as a simple necessity - I am overwhelmed by how real he is.
(Source: missveoxx)
Winter’s Dream ~ Explored by Karen James on Flickr.
I felt His hand at work yesterday. I wanted to use a beautiful place. And the ideal place popped into mind. We arrived. It wasn’t beautiful at all - spring has not yet sprung. The place was barren. We had to talk elsewhere instead. But then I remembered why I’d heard about that space in the first place. It was one of H’s favourite spots. I’d threatened to take her there for a picnic. The seasons weren’t right yesterday. And that was a reminder that this is the start of something new with someone new. The old should not be allowed to contaminate - with its hurts, confusion, and intensity (yeah I said it).
I’m also really bad at this game.
(Source: julioari)
Reflection » by jaclesac
“She looked happy in that big grin, occasionally dropping her eyes way.” Oh I saw it don’t worry. It’s shyness, but it amplifies her eyes and her smile.
I didn’t see you come in, and take a table behind us. I was facing away from you, but she was looking in your direction. You don’t know her and she doesn’t know you. What must it have looked like to see that conversation over hot chocolates? You had no idea of the words passing between our lips, you can only see the effect on her face and her body. You had no idea of the size of my smile and the heart beating faster, silently, inside of my chest.
(Source: beautiful-scotland)
Paragliding along the Aurlandfjords by B℮n on Flickr.
It’s actually surprised me that I’m so calm around you. That’s probably why I’m so attracted. You’re shy but also tremendously chatty. I can just relax. None of the awkward silences around H. Yesterday was so lovely because it was such a breeze.
(Source: periderm)
